Loneliness

I leave her for a while and yet she always pulls me back. What could it be? Her smell? Her touch? Her need for me? I do not know yet I cannot resist her call. At times I feel I have finally escaped but that is only a fleeting moment of joy. This tango we do of release and capture, this love-hate relationship we have; is it the prediction of what is yet to come? If I embrace her she will always be there and if I don't then I fear I will always return to her. She is to me what the devil is to God. A completion of my existence and yet without her I would be happy.

Everytime she's in my life it's like someone stabbing me repeatedly in the chest.  Where i have been stabbed all i feel, in lieu of pain, is emptiness.  The sadness of nothingness.  The drain on me, the drain on my energy, it destroys me slowly from the inside, corrupting my mind first and then slowly destroying my body.  She wants me with her for all eternity, yet she provides me endless and total pain

Afterwards she takes pity on me....and decides to possess my body instead.  She makes me go through the motions of life as opposed to actually living it.  One minute i'm waking up, the next i'm drifting along with the other lost souls on this planet, the next it's 2 days later.  I'm losing my mind, my body, my soul.......and my life.

All....because of HER