I drifted through dimensions. Red ones, blue ones, ones where humans didn't exist, one where slugs had taken over the world, even a dimension where pizza had a conscience....not really going to that one anytime soon. That's when i saw it. The perfect dimension. No wars. No famine. Nobody hurting each other. Complete opposites had found peace. Love and hate, religion and science, nature and technology, Yin and Yang all had become at peace. Accepting each other.
"Have you found what you were looking for?" The old man had materialized at my side.
"How did you..." I started
"Everyone finds what they're looking for, once their wish is strong enough their universe answers; your universe had no answer and so it sent you to the multiverse."
I looked down at this new reality before me
"Ah this tends to be the universe people....crave.....more than the rest. I personally don't see why."
As soon as he said this shock and suspicion paralysed me.
"But it's gorgeous. Look at it. There's no evil. It's absolutely stunning, it's...it's..."
"Chaos," he looked...defeated, "look again young one. Look past what you see"
I looked...and looked....but i couldn't see anything bad. That's when it struck me. "There's no balance."
"That's right. A universe much like a human must have flaws. That is the perfect imperfection. Being perfect doesn't mean doing everything right. If it was like that then all universes would be identical to this one. Covering its flaws. It is in fact one of the cheapest and most cowardly ways of dealing with problems. True perfection, as with true balance, must always deal with the good as well as the bad." He sighed as we gazed upon this imperfectly perfect world.
"It's so peaceful;" i said, "but just like pain, ideals, luck, beauty, love, life.....everything can be seen from multiple perspectives. To me this place is beauty beyond any imaginable but to you it's-"
"The cesspool of the multiverse," he said with bitterness, then sighed, "and my greatest failure." He then turned to me. "Always look beyond what you see, for behind every beautiful face there could be destruction and chaos in disguise. But if the face is open it reveals the true beauty....and the true darkness of what it holds. A perfect universe must be imperfect, with each person finding their place within it and knowing that they are the most perfect when they accept themselves and are not afraid to show the world how unique they are."
Saturday, 23 August 2014
The everchanging flow of life
"The secrets of life are like water," The old man said as he drew the symbol of water on the ground. He stood up and brought two cups to me. "When you contain it, and is no longer free to move around, it stays, becomes stagnant, useless." A cup filled with water that quickly turned a vile green, the stench almost made me throw up.
"Water can be free," he threw the trapped water into the air and upon hitting the ground, expanded and formed a river, "in this water can constantly be renewed, flowing down until it becomes a great ocean able to sustain more water. Life giving forth new life."
"Yet emotions can damage life too," The man lift an arm and a ball of water the size of my fist rose from the river; it filled the cup to the brim. "too cold....and it is unbearable to touch." As if to prove a point the water instantly froze within the cup and it seemed like the entire room responded to this as all of a sudden i felt a great chill go through me. The water then broke free of it's container and he passed it 2 inches from my face, i fell to my knees....great sorrow overtook me. The cold was as he said.....unbearable. He chuckled and evaporated the ice.
"Too hot and you shall never be grounded, you will float like a bag of warm air, always a dreamer, always naive." he spun around and seemed to drag the hot steam towards me. The warmth was quite pleasant after the freezing and i felt an immense joy, such that i had never felt in my entire life; it was as if a giant weight had jumped off my shoulders.
"But," he continued, "there will be a point where you will never come back." We looked up to observe that the steam had rapidly ascended, never to be seen again.
"Let your river flow and find balance between positive and negative, for only then will you find the true meaning of your life."
"Water can be free," he threw the trapped water into the air and upon hitting the ground, expanded and formed a river, "in this water can constantly be renewed, flowing down until it becomes a great ocean able to sustain more water. Life giving forth new life."
"Yet emotions can damage life too," The man lift an arm and a ball of water the size of my fist rose from the river; it filled the cup to the brim. "too cold....and it is unbearable to touch." As if to prove a point the water instantly froze within the cup and it seemed like the entire room responded to this as all of a sudden i felt a great chill go through me. The water then broke free of it's container and he passed it 2 inches from my face, i fell to my knees....great sorrow overtook me. The cold was as he said.....unbearable. He chuckled and evaporated the ice.
"Too hot and you shall never be grounded, you will float like a bag of warm air, always a dreamer, always naive." he spun around and seemed to drag the hot steam towards me. The warmth was quite pleasant after the freezing and i felt an immense joy, such that i had never felt in my entire life; it was as if a giant weight had jumped off my shoulders.
"But," he continued, "there will be a point where you will never come back." We looked up to observe that the steam had rapidly ascended, never to be seen again.
"Let your river flow and find balance between positive and negative, for only then will you find the true meaning of your life."
Monday, 23 June 2014
Anger and betrayal
It concentrated around me. The power. I could think of nothing more but torturing this man. He lay in front of me. A man that had harmed me. Who took everything from me. A murderer. He cowered before me as a power filled up within me.
"No....please.....i beg of you," He cries.
"Pathetic" is all i say as he curls into a ball in the corner. His head covered by his hands, whimpering like a sniveling baby. I stepped closer to him, and out of nowhere he raised a gun to shoot, but his mind was mine. I conquered it. He was broken. I could see everything. His obsessions, his victims, his plans, his betrayals, his past, his present.....he had no future.
A step.
His pupils dilated as he felt me approach. I could sense regret, I could feel his pain. He glanced quickly to the top left indicating that he was remembering something.
Step.
I saw it. An image of him as a child killing dogs.
Step.
Next an image of a teenager, a girl who had rejected him when he asked her out, chopped in pieces in a sewer.
Step.
Finally a vision of his mother. A woman who i loved very much. A tear rolled down his eye as he whispered: "forgive me.....brother".
The last step.
I grabbed him by the neck and lift him up, my eyes glowed as it rushed through me. Darkness, anger, bitter rage. I concentrated on his skull. His head expanded to twice the size. He screamed in pain. Three times, four times, five, six.........there was no seven as his corpse collapsed to the ground....
"No....please.....i beg of you," He cries.
"Pathetic" is all i say as he curls into a ball in the corner. His head covered by his hands, whimpering like a sniveling baby. I stepped closer to him, and out of nowhere he raised a gun to shoot, but his mind was mine. I conquered it. He was broken. I could see everything. His obsessions, his victims, his plans, his betrayals, his past, his present.....he had no future.
A step.
His pupils dilated as he felt me approach. I could sense regret, I could feel his pain. He glanced quickly to the top left indicating that he was remembering something.
Step.
I saw it. An image of him as a child killing dogs.
Step.
Next an image of a teenager, a girl who had rejected him when he asked her out, chopped in pieces in a sewer.
Step.
Finally a vision of his mother. A woman who i loved very much. A tear rolled down his eye as he whispered: "forgive me.....brother".
The last step.
I grabbed him by the neck and lift him up, my eyes glowed as it rushed through me. Darkness, anger, bitter rage. I concentrated on his skull. His head expanded to twice the size. He screamed in pain. Three times, four times, five, six.........there was no seven as his corpse collapsed to the ground....
Saturday, 21 June 2014
Loneliness
I leave her for a while and yet she always pulls me back. What could it be? Her smell? Her touch? Her need for me? I do not know yet I cannot resist her call. At times I feel I have finally escaped but that is only a fleeting moment of joy. This tango we do of release and capture, this love-hate relationship we have; is it the prediction of what is yet to come? If I embrace her she will always be there and if I don't then I fear I will always return to her. She is to me what the devil is to God. A completion of my existence and yet without her I would be happy.
Everytime she's in my life it's like someone stabbing me repeatedly in the chest. Where i have been stabbed all i feel, in lieu of pain, is emptiness. The sadness of nothingness. The drain on me, the drain on my energy, it destroys me slowly from the inside, corrupting my mind first and then slowly destroying my body. She wants me with her for all eternity, yet she provides me endless and total pain
Afterwards she takes pity on me....and decides to possess my body instead. She makes me go through the motions of life as opposed to actually living it. One minute i'm waking up, the next i'm drifting along with the other lost souls on this planet, the next it's 2 days later. I'm losing my mind, my body, my soul.......and my life.
All....because of HER
Tuesday, 17 June 2014
Power
"Will you do it?" The voice echoed in my head as i stared at the stage. I trembled.......the excitement rising in my body as all i could think about was showing everyone what i could do. I climbed up only to arrive at the same time as my competitor, he jeered and hated, tried to discourage me but i smiled and waved him on.
"What are you doing? Are you conceeding defeat?" The voice asked.
"No," I answered, "merely giving him a chance".
The man executed his moves flawlessly and with confidence, boasting and showing off and proudly challenging everyone to him. As he reached the end of his time limit he stomped more, making more of a show of his power attempting to assert his dominance. Before long he finished, celebrating and daring someone to try; the spotlights were on him, nobody noticed the shy man get on stage.
"My turn." I announced. He looked at me and laughed then shrugged and left the stage. The trembling had returned, the excitement. The power of confidence and the strength of will. Fire burnt as i moved; not to exhibit power, but to show skill. Move after move as i dug his power into the ground. As my time was closing i knew i didn't need any flashy moves, the audience was already cheering for me, already loving me, already proving to everyone that the kingdom was mine. I was king. And they were not just my subjects but members of a family. My family.
I danced not a dance of dominance, not a dance to show off but a dance to encourage, to inspire and to lead. To show everyone that anyone can achieve enough strength to get in front of a stage and show their peers what they can do when they set their mind to it.
I showed them what it was like to be free.
"What are you doing? Are you conceeding defeat?" The voice asked.
"No," I answered, "merely giving him a chance".
The man executed his moves flawlessly and with confidence, boasting and showing off and proudly challenging everyone to him. As he reached the end of his time limit he stomped more, making more of a show of his power attempting to assert his dominance. Before long he finished, celebrating and daring someone to try; the spotlights were on him, nobody noticed the shy man get on stage.
"My turn." I announced. He looked at me and laughed then shrugged and left the stage. The trembling had returned, the excitement. The power of confidence and the strength of will. Fire burnt as i moved; not to exhibit power, but to show skill. Move after move as i dug his power into the ground. As my time was closing i knew i didn't need any flashy moves, the audience was already cheering for me, already loving me, already proving to everyone that the kingdom was mine. I was king. And they were not just my subjects but members of a family. My family.
I danced not a dance of dominance, not a dance to show off but a dance to encourage, to inspire and to lead. To show everyone that anyone can achieve enough strength to get in front of a stage and show their peers what they can do when they set their mind to it.
I showed them what it was like to be free.
Saturday, 31 May 2014
Humanity, a rose as fragile as glass
I raised the rose from the ashes of despair. The thorns piercing my skin, but i held it tighter. I whisper to it: "a beauty such as you does not belong in this wasteland". For it did not. A rose grown from ash. The most beautiful of its kind. The ashes dispersed yet the shadows grew: "why do you take this rose? Do you not see how it pierces your skin? How it eats at your flesh? It is ours and ours alone. It does not require your assistance". The shadows hiss as i answer: "I will not let you take this rose as you had once taken me, with my life i guard it. For it is too precious to fall into your hands." The shadows lay low and watch me leave their retched domain. The delicate flower, forever holding the essence of humanity, lives on within me to this day.
Who is who
Ok before anyone goes all troll and say "oh the title is too confusing", yes, i know it is confusing. Kinda fits the theme here so deal with it.
Anyway so lately i've been considering alot of things, but mostly about who i am; and for that matter who are you. Individuals are not really defined in a specific way other than how they are perceived by others. Yes you're own opinion matters but when someone wants to know something about you they usually go to your friends so what do your friends really say? Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder so is truth a matter of perspective. A truth for one person may in fact not be the same to another. Just as an example 2 people are stranded alone on a desert island. No food and no other means of survival other than to eat each other. To some this is seen as cannibalism. To them it was their natural instincts kicking in and telling them they must survive.
So what is a truth? I guess a truth would have to be a fact. Something that no matter who says it or how many times it is said it does not change. For example saying that this note exists is a fact. Saying the note is meaningful may be true to me but not to others therefore truth is unreliable.
So where does this all fit in with knowing oneself? Well is what we know about ourselves a fact? Or a truth? There are some things we know about ourselves which in fact are facts such as unavoidable behaviour usually caused by our natural instincts such as greed and there are aspects or our behaviour that we have been taught and have stuck with us therefore altering our individual personalities such as being sympathetic.
Even our own truths as to who we are is not only subject to change due to experiences but they are also a matter of perspective. Therefore saying "i know myself better than you do" or "you don't know me" are both true and false. Basically, humans are not aware of their own true nature and probably never will be. We can only base what we are on the truths that surround us but instead we must forget the truths and think of the facts. What are these facts? Well.....no idea.
Alright so that's my note of the week or month or.......year.......i really dunno if i'll continue these. If anyone reads this leave a comment of your own opinion and also if you think i should make more like/comment saying you do and i'll make these more frequent.
Anyway so lately i've been considering alot of things, but mostly about who i am; and for that matter who are you. Individuals are not really defined in a specific way other than how they are perceived by others. Yes you're own opinion matters but when someone wants to know something about you they usually go to your friends so what do your friends really say? Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder so is truth a matter of perspective. A truth for one person may in fact not be the same to another. Just as an example 2 people are stranded alone on a desert island. No food and no other means of survival other than to eat each other. To some this is seen as cannibalism. To them it was their natural instincts kicking in and telling them they must survive.
So what is a truth? I guess a truth would have to be a fact. Something that no matter who says it or how many times it is said it does not change. For example saying that this note exists is a fact. Saying the note is meaningful may be true to me but not to others therefore truth is unreliable.
So where does this all fit in with knowing oneself? Well is what we know about ourselves a fact? Or a truth? There are some things we know about ourselves which in fact are facts such as unavoidable behaviour usually caused by our natural instincts such as greed and there are aspects or our behaviour that we have been taught and have stuck with us therefore altering our individual personalities such as being sympathetic.
Even our own truths as to who we are is not only subject to change due to experiences but they are also a matter of perspective. Therefore saying "i know myself better than you do" or "you don't know me" are both true and false. Basically, humans are not aware of their own true nature and probably never will be. We can only base what we are on the truths that surround us but instead we must forget the truths and think of the facts. What are these facts? Well.....no idea.
Alright so that's my note of the week or month or.......year.......i really dunno if i'll continue these. If anyone reads this leave a comment of your own opinion and also if you think i should make more like/comment saying you do and i'll make these more frequent.
Addiction thou art a cruel mistress
One night I awoke to a strange feeling. A tapping on my consciousness. I dismissed it as the beginnings of a headache so I drifted back off to sleep....but it wouldn't stop. I opened my eyes to see a glow from the window. I stood up and walked over to see a bright light on the street, and within the bright light was....a creature. She turned to look at me and her face was beauty incarnate. Her smile as bright as the sun, her eyes.....oh those wondrous eyes, radiating colours of all sorts. She took two steps closer, walking as majestically and gracefully as a queen, her hair flowing in the wake of the power she emanated. She was a being I should fear but I did not. A warmth filled me up and I looked away, not daring to even think of this wonderful being in front of me. She giggled and said "Are you going to let me in? Or will I have to drag you out?" Speechless I scrambled to the door and walked out to eternal bliss......or so I thought. The minute I walked out I embraced her, and she morphed, scales grew where her skin was, her body elongated and her feathers fell off to reveal revolting dark wings created by shadows, faces within them screaming for release. Her heavenly face grew two eight foot horns, fangs, her now yellow pupils turned to slits, as her face darkned to match her chaotic wings. "YOU ARE MINE" she yelled, "NOW AND FOREVER". I tried to get away but a claw emerged from her torso and speared me through the heart to drag me to her, engulfing me into her body of despair...
The darkness
As he sits at his desk he opens his laptop. The windows logo welcoming him.....to what? He sees nothing but darkness. The darkness that enveloped him years ago still surrounds him like fog. It whispers things he wishes not to understand nor accept. He wishes not to be a creature of the night, the spawn of the evil one and yet cannot help but feel so. A dread falls over him as does a sudden flash upon realization that the darkness is overwhelming him. The light? None. For in the tunnel he now travels, is the one place that light cannot go. He falls to a deep sleep as the essence of his being escapes him. The darkness has descended. The darkness has claimed its victim. The darkness.......is pleased.
He drifts in the darkness, wondering what is to become of him. His tortured soul writhing in agony as demons and terrors too gruesome for the human mind to even begin to comprehend; attacked him, clawed at him, left their cold spit on him and reduced him from a proud man to a pathetic rag doll. They finally had him, they could finally do what they want with him. He was theirs. Suddenly a roar echoes through, the demons runaway panicking as the man is pulled upwards.
He arises from the shadows of darkness and finally sees a light.....and beyond this light there are endless dimensions. Some full of pain, some full of pleasure, some full of happiness and some filled with disaster. He hear a voice inside his head whispering, "all futures are yours and yet mine, their power over you is only equal to the power you give yourself". As this happens he turns to see a scale. And an eye. Watching with no emotion. A calm and collected conscience neither aiding nor abandoning, merely observing. A voice rings in the man's head. Death or glory. Which do you choose? Before an answer can be given a blinding light. Darkness. And then light again as he opens his eyes to the possibilities of endless universes. Each with a unique and equally probable future.
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